I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
