I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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