Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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