at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
