oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My balls are so social today.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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