yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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