i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
