break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
