we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
