if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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