physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
