i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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