we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
pray to the hookup gods
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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