Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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