spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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