my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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