please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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