Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
