Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
