VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
