The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
