You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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