Welp...herpes.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
