Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
