Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
