a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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