i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Someone shattered a urinal.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
