dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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