worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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