their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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