thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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