Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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