summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
