I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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