It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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