The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
