your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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