Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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