You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
