Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
