Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
