So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
