Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You smell like stripper and shame
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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