Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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