come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
