So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
