Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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