I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
