he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
They took my balls.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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