Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
