did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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