so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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