everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
