Swine flu is the new snow day.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
