why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
