1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
