I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
