Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
