the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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